Monday, November 5, 2007
more stuffies
wow. my ex who i still for some reason have feelings for and his girlfriend broke up last week, and just got back together today. she just told me about it and for some reason, my heart broke a bit again. don't get me wrong, i am head over heels in love with my boyfriend/fiance, but for some odd reason, i still have a few feelings left over for my ex. I'm not sure why. i just do. i don't know if it's cuz we never had real closure in our break up or what. but no matter how much i love my boyfriend, part of me is gonna still love my ex. (im not using names, cuz it would get confusing since they're both named Chris). i really don't want to have feelings for him. he and i are just good friends, but lately, i been thinking about him a lot and it's killing me. when I'm with my boyfriend, i don't think about my ex, just my b/f. and when I'm not with him, i think about mostly him, but sometimes, thoughts of my ex creep into my mind. like if i hear a song that reminds me of him, esp. what was "our song." now i cant even watch the movie Armageddon without thinking of my ex, cuz that was our movie, where our song came from......i dunno. i just feel like crying because of it, but i know that wont solve any problems...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Haha, everyone has their own way of moving on from their first love. You'll find it soon enough.
yeah, that's what i mean, tho, he wasnt my first love, and when i started falling for my fiance, i felt like i was over my ex, and that i was finally able to love someone again, since i had been hurt so bad. my fiance makes me forget about my ex, cuz he's just awesome like that, but for some very odd reason, i still kinda lke my ex. but it's only how he was before he and his g/f got back together the first time (they've broken up twice then got back together later on) the first time they broke up, it was over the summer, and he was back to his normal self then, like he was even before i had dated him. he was fun again. we'd go to the park at night with our friends and play tag. i mean, if that's not fun, just having a bunch of teenagers running thru the park in the dark, then idk what is..lol..and during the summer, when he was at his dad's in Arkansas, he'd call me almost every night, just to talk, and cuz i "had a soothing voice" which helped him fall asleep easier, for some reason. i think that might be one of the things thats getting to me, that we would kinda be closer than friends (but i never cheated on my b/f, nor ever will), yet both of us knew (and know) that it'll never happen again. (Even tho, the other day, he told me that if he ever got back with any of his exs, it'd be me.)
wow, i feel better just saying all this. thanks.
it's really crazy the whole first love thing! Whenever I think about my first love i still get butterflies in my stomach. And I have no idea why because he's not that special! I have had hotter, smarter, better-rounded boyfriends, but I still have like, not feelings for him, but just like a crush maybe? something like that. Anyway, I know what you're feeling
Post a Comment