part 4/4

well, when i took him back to his car in the koger parking lot (we leave his car there so he wouldnt have to pay to park at the meter thingys, nad he wouldnt have to go back to the meter every hour to refill it.) well, after getting gas in my car (i was running on fumes) i took him back to his car, and we said our goodbyes. he was a little hastey, which i didnt like. i understood that he had to get home soon, due to curfew and whatnot (yes, he still has one, his parents are strict.) but he drives faster than i do usually, and i knew he could make it. i just wish he couldve been a little more affectionate.
when we had gone on our break, one of the reasons for him was that he wasnt sure if he still 100% loved me. i understand that that kind of thing happens in relationships, and that's fine. im glad that he told me about it (after i told him that if we'd actually talk about these types of things more, we could've avoided this whole situation. this is n the previous set of 4 blogs, look there if you're lost.) well, as he got out of the car, i tole him that i love him ,and he just said "i know." which i knew meant that he still wasnt sure. i asked him if that was the case, and he said that it was. so, i kinda think that we got back together a bit soon. tho im very happy that we're back, i wish that he would've been able to figure this all out before us getting back together. i wouldve waited as long as he needed. but anyway, i just think it was a little soon than either or us planned. i was thinking it'd be like 3 weeks. but like i said, im still happy that we're back together. just wish that there was more definition to it.

part 3/4

so, as we got towards the last ten minutes of the movie, we wound up sitting closer again. at the end of the movie, as the credits were showing, we some how wound up wrestling/having a tickle fight on the couch. i had gotten it to where i had straddled his stomach, just under his chest, so that he couldn't get me off easily, and was finding ways to torture him via tickles (i usually win these types of fights, tho I'm extremely ticklish.). well, i kinda laid down on him and just hugged him really tight,as that was what i really wanted: one of his hugs. well, he raised up and somehow flipped us around to where i was the one on the couch and he was leaning over me, when he kissed me. the last time he and i had kissed was the night we went on our break, as a last-one-til-we're-back-together kiss. i knew at that moment, when he kissed me, that our break was over. and i loved it!! i couldnt help but pull him into a long,passionate kiss, since we hadnt kissed in almost a week ,but i had seen him a couple of times during the week since. as soon as we stopped kissing, he pulled away a bit and looked at me and said "i guess that means the break is over." at which i just hugged him tighter and said "mhm." after that, we went to my dorm for a bit. (you can guess what happened, being as we had just gotten back together and i have a single room)

cont ---->

part 2/4

my boyfriend and i started watching Across the Universe. That movie is AMAZING!!! (ill talk more about that one later)

we wound up sitting close to each other the whole time, my legs usually over his lap, like normal. by the time we paused the movie, with about 45 minutes left, we had wound up sitting really close together. After we paused it, we went to teach my little brother how to play the Twister game that i got him for his birthday. we had a lot of fun. my boyfriend plays in the way that he purposely makes it to where you have to intertwine with each other. we played 3 games, each of us winning once. then we ate supper,which was spaghetti and crescent rolls, my favorite. anyway, after eating ,we went back to watching the movie. this was at the point in the movie (for those of you that have seen it, where Lucy realizes that Jude had left and sees his giant strawberry painting. well, as we started watching it again, we somehow got closer and closer to each other on the couch, and found ourselves holding hands. we didn't fully realize this until my mom came into the living room and asked "well, if y'all aren't together any more, why are you acting like it??" at which point, he scooted over about 6 inches and let go of my hand. he told her that "she's [meaning me] the one that started it!" my mom had walked off at this point and i told him that i didn't start anything, that it was his choice if he held my hand any or not.


cont,next

part 1/4

well, my boyfriend and i got back together Sunday night. i kinda think that it was a bit soon. the break didn't last even a week, but the way we were acting Sunday night was like we were back together already. Sunday was my little brother's 7th birthday, so we had a birthday party for him at the cordova bowling alley. my boyfriend attends, but arrives about an hour and a half later than when it started, due to having been at church. he got there as we started into the cake, right after pizza and right before my brother opened his presents. before going to the party room, we bowled for a little over an hour. My score wasn't exactly good. i played against one of the parents. his score wasn't much better, so i don't feel bad. we had fun, that's all that counted.


anyway, after the presents, the kids, my boyfriend and i went to play some of the games that they have there. well, my boyfriend and i played two games of air hockey, and since he and i are so good at it, we wound up running the timer out on the second game, instead of getting to the max score of 7. the score at that game was 5-4, his favor. after our game, we loaded my brother's stuff into the car, and went back to my house.


cont, in next

part 4/4

my grandfather once told me about 3 or 4 years ago as we sat around a camp styled fire for a family cookout, that a good marriage is like the logs on that fire. you have to give each other enough space to breathe, but be close enough to keep each other warm. even tho i was about 15 at the time, i knew what he meant. it didnt pertain to how closely people held each other. it was about how close people (couples) should be emotionally. it's like holding the reins on a horse. if you hold them too loose, the horse will do as it pleases, because you arent helping to guide it, and basically letting it go. but if you hold the reins too tight, the horse will back up or rare up on you, and you can get thrown off. there must be a level of trust between the horse and the person that is riding it, or you could lose the horse, or get hurt. when the person holds the reins too tightly,it shows that they want all the contol, and they they do not trust the horse. the horse must trust the person to feed it and lead it in the right direction, or they could both get hurt by falling or ending up somewhere dangerous. the horse may be many times bigger than it's rider, but knows that the rider is the one that takes care of it, by keeping it safe, fed, watered, and clean. the rider knows that if the horse feels safe and comfortable with the rider, then the horse will let the rider guide them. with couples, it doesnt matter what role you play, weither it be the rider or the horse. you have to have a mutual trust in each other and an understanding in what your relationship is, or someone can get seriously hurt. maybe not physically, but deffinately emotionally. the horse and the rider take care of each other, as should a couple. they each should protect and care for each other, but every now and then, must let the other have their way in somethings.

part 3/4

every now and then, couples need to just have some time set aside for just the two of them, with no distractions, no kids (if they have any), no family, no one else, and just relax and renew their relationship. after my brother's birthday party, that's what sunday will be about. we really need it. also during our break, we are going to start setting aside about an hour or so during the week to just talk about what's going on with us more, and if there are any problems in our relationship or if we have any problems with each other. we've agreed that this time will be completely distraction free. no computers, no cell phones, just me and him. if we have to, we could just sit on the porch and talk. just somewhere that we could talk to each other in complete peace. if that means that we have to sit on the roof of one of our cars in the middle of a totally empty parking lot, then so be it. i really think that this will help renew our relationship. talking like we have for the past couple of days has helped a lot. we've promised to not hold anything back. if we had a dream about something or someone else, we'll talk about. after all, they're only dreams. (this pertains to an earlier blog titled Dreams). i have even told him about those dreams that i had about my ex, and he's told me his dreams, too. we've agreed to be absolutely honest with each other. after all, a good relationship is built on trust, truth, and the ability to forgive each other when it comes down to it, right??

continued on next blog

part 2/4

but anyways, like i was saying, we're on a break. i was a total wreck tuesday and wednesday, trying to get over it, before i fully realized that hey, since we are going to get back together, it's just a "space break" that it's not the end of the world. he just wanted some space, and i respect that. i told him tho, that since he's the one that wanted the space, he'd be the one to call me. heh, and wednesday, he was the one texting and calling me to see how i was doing. i think ive only called him twice since then, and both of those times were to ask him about something. he actually called me earlier to see if i wanted to go see a movie with him tonight, since both of us were off of work, but i have homework to do, including finishing these and my propaganda paper that i've had sooooo much trouble doing. i understand how to do it, its just my topic. i also have a little history thats due monday, but i wanna get every bit of this stuff done before going to work tomorrow, so that i can have the whole day off sunday for my little brother's birthday party, and so that my boyfriend and i can spend the day together. he wants to go see 10,000 bc, and suggested hitting some baseballs around. im pretty sure that the baseball thing is for my benifit, since he doesnt like any other sport but soccer and, well, bowling, if you count it as a sport. i think he might be having some regrets, do you think??? this will give us a chance to just get back to normal, and a bit closer together, and possibly start again in the relationship a bit. we could probably use that.

continued next blog

part one of four

on tuesday, my boyfriend and i decided to go on a break. it's not a total break-up, tho it was at first. we're still together, and agreed to not even flirt with anyone else. it's more of a space thing. he said that he was feeling a little smothered. he and i had this agreement when we first started dating tat we'd be open with each other about anything that we felt was wrong in our relationship or if the other did somethign that the other did not like. well, i was keeping up my end of the deal, and i told him that if he had kept up his end of the deal better, that we might not have had this break happen. but, we agreed to work on this problem during this whole thing and we are making progress. in the past three days, we have both discussed our problems better, and in turn, i feel like we've gotten a bit closer doing so. since i was mad at him wednesday, and a bit still yesterday, i felt no need to hold back my opinions about some things and i feel much better for telling him what he needed to hear, not what he wanted to hear. this whole thing of "telling the truth more" has helped me get him to also talk to his dad more about things, instead of lying to him, just to get to go out of the house more. cuz, like my mom said (i cant belive im agreeing with her on something like this) you'll earn more trust than you can ever steal. that's why i dont lie to my mom about where im going. she knows that since im 19, she cant stop me from doing anything that i really want to do. she knows that there is drinking at most of my friend's parties, so she knows that ill either stay the night at my friends, or have my boyfriend drive,since he doesnt drink. as a kid, she'd talk to me about stuff instead of telling me not to do something just because she said not to. she told me the reasons why i should or should not do something (at least when i was old enough to understand). i dont think that my boyfriend's dad did that kind of thing with him. i think his dad is just one of those types of parents that uses the "because i said so, that's why" explination. that would never work for me. everytime one of my parents or even a teacher used that excuse on me, i'd keep asking them exactly why they made that certain decision untill they told me the exact reason. then, if i felt that the said reason wasnt justifiable, i'd dispute it with an actually rather logical arguement for a kid (i get this from my grandfather).



continued on next blog

scooby-doo/pet names

Im watching What's New, Scooby Doo. I love this show. This is either a new episode or just one that i havent seen before. in this episode, scooby and the gang are at Fort Knox, and they meet up with these 6 puppies that are being trained for the secret service. The villain in this episode happens to be the drill sergeant of Fort Knox, who covers himself in a gold suit so that he could blend in with the gold bricks in the giant safe there. He was actually trying to break out of Fort Knox, and into a neighboring sports drink factory, ironically called Goldade, to become a buisnessman instead of being stuck with the army. The puppies had names involving money, including 14 karet and Blingy. I thought this was pretty funny.
I know a person who names their dogs after types of cars. Corvette is my favorite one. It's my favorite type of car and the dog likes me more than the others seem to, so she'll play with me more than the others will. I also used to know a guy who named his cats after Star Trek charaters. The fattest of the two cats was named "Leutenant Warf."
Pet names are usually a reflection of their owner's personality, but what conclusion could be drawn from the name i gave my dog, Max? we chose that name because we wanted something easy for my brother to say (who was at the time only 3), and that would be one that would fit him. if you've read my last blog, you'd know that he is a small dog. so, of course, he was a small puppy. as a puppy, since he is half poodle, half shihzhu, he was very fluffy. he had the length of a shihzhu's hair (these types of dogs have hair, not fur) and the thickness of a poodle's hair. so as you can probably picture, he was really fluffy...max just seemed to suit him. even tho he was tiny, he was very friendly and came right up to me when i went to choose from his litter. he gets along well with other dogs, and he's a very friendly dog. his personality is that of one of those types of people who are friendly and smiling almost all the time. max just seemed to fit him.

naming animals should be similar to how people name babies. the name should fit them and should fit their personality. i know that babies' personalities are not apparent at first, but it is possible to tell if they are going to be friendly or shy, or stuff like that. yes, i know that some babies are named after family memebers, but naming a boy Gerald Eugine when he looks like nothing of the sort is not the best thing to do. one or the other would have been fine.