part 4/4

my grandfather once told me about 3 or 4 years ago as we sat around a camp styled fire for a family cookout, that a good marriage is like the logs on that fire. you have to give each other enough space to breathe, but be close enough to keep each other warm. even tho i was about 15 at the time, i knew what he meant. it didnt pertain to how closely people held each other. it was about how close people (couples) should be emotionally. it's like holding the reins on a horse. if you hold them too loose, the horse will do as it pleases, because you arent helping to guide it, and basically letting it go. but if you hold the reins too tight, the horse will back up or rare up on you, and you can get thrown off. there must be a level of trust between the horse and the person that is riding it, or you could lose the horse, or get hurt. when the person holds the reins too tightly,it shows that they want all the contol, and they they do not trust the horse. the horse must trust the person to feed it and lead it in the right direction, or they could both get hurt by falling or ending up somewhere dangerous. the horse may be many times bigger than it's rider, but knows that the rider is the one that takes care of it, by keeping it safe, fed, watered, and clean. the rider knows that if the horse feels safe and comfortable with the rider, then the horse will let the rider guide them. with couples, it doesnt matter what role you play, weither it be the rider or the horse. you have to have a mutual trust in each other and an understanding in what your relationship is, or someone can get seriously hurt. maybe not physically, but deffinately emotionally. the horse and the rider take care of each other, as should a couple. they each should protect and care for each other, but every now and then, must let the other have their way in somethings.