update

Wow.. its been a long time since i've posted. well, for my readers, heres an update. Chris and i broke up May 11th. we had promised that neither of us would date anyone else during the summer to get over it all, but a week later, at a friends party, i found out that he had started dating some other (slutty) chick (not jealousy talking, she was slutty) about 3 days after we beoke up. wow. talk about fast rebound. i slapped him in the face when i found out about it because he LIED to me about it. wouldnt have minded as much had he told me the truth. so, i slapped him and slammed the door as i got out of his car, he sped off and i went inside and drank 8 shots of vodka followed by orange soda in less than thirty minutes. then i puked my guts out off and on for 2 and a half hours, while passing in and out of conciousness.....well, i found out the next day that he had sent me an email with a picture of a broken (attempted to be repaired) heart that he had made on photoshop. according to him it took him almost all night to do, including finding the poem that he found online. so, i was willing to mostly forgive him.but he still had to earn back all of the trust i had for him. he still hasnt fully.
fast forward to early june. i had set up a profile on OKCupid.com. it was quoth_the_ravyn if anyone had gotten on. well, within a week of setting up that profile, i got tons of hits. and met this awesome guy named Casey. he was really sweet and we talked online for about a week. well, after about a week of talking only online, i let him call me, and for a week straight, we sat up and talked all night on the phone. i mean all night. he'd call me at 1030, we didnt get off til 6 or so. well, after about a week of that, we wanted to meet up, so i invited him to a party at my friend's house, where we played apples to apples. he was very polite and such a gentleman. my friends liked him a lot. they said that when i had gone downstairs to talk to my friend's mom, he asked what all he could do to win me over. well, i went upstairs after that, and he wanted to go outside to talk, so i said sure. we went out, and laid on the grass looking up at the stars talking. he gently took my hand in his and asked if it was ok if he could hold my hand. i told him it was, it just felt a bit odd, since i was basically starting the whole dating thing over. he asked me if i would be his girlfriend, and i said that i would have to think about it. a week after that night, we went to the mall on a date, and walked around and talked. a lot. he told me about his friends and i told him about some of my odd friends that he hadnt met that night at nikkis. he asked me again to be his girlfriend, and i still said that id really have to think about it. he looked so disappointed, but hopeful that i would eventually say yes. when we walked out to the car, he asked for a hug. as i let him hold me, i felt as if NOTHING could hurt me. i felt so safe and magical. he asked if i could stay at his house the next night, so after he met my parents, i told them that i was staying at my best friend's and went to his house.
we watched a few movies, and he held me the whole time. after a while of me still being unsure, i let him kiss me for the first time. i liked it. i pretended that i wasnt fully there, cuz i was still nervous, and i didnt want to get his hopes up in case i decided to date one of the other guys i met on okc. but after a bit i kissed him, kinda forcefully...^_^...after our movies, we went to bed, and he held me the ENTIRE night, even covered me when he felt me shiver (i have the habit of kicking the covers off). nothing sexual happened. i would not have let something like that happen, even tho he didnt even hint at it.
well, i went home the next day, and realized how much i liked him, but i was still not ready for a relationship. i went to San Deigo with my family a couple of days later for a week, and as soon as we started flying i realized how much i missed him. i called when we landed to let him know i was safe. after we had gotten the rental car, i texted him a lot and told him that i really missed him, and asked if he wanted to make the boyfriend/girlfriend thing official. he said "hell yeah!" and that was that. during that week ,we realized how much we had fallen for each other, and when he came to see me the day after returning home, he told me for the first time that he loved me. i told him that i loved him too, and that was june 23. we had become "official" boyfriend/girlfriened on June 18th, just over a month after chris and i broke up. its been almost 3 months since then, and it feels like so much longer, in a good way. he's come over and stayed EVERY weekend, and comes to see me at least once during the week. in that short 2 and a half months, we have already figured out how much we connect and how much we are alike in being different from others. we've also decided that we want to get married when i get done with school in 2011. ^_^ he hasnt officially proposed yet, due to lack of money for a ring, but he will as soon as he can. we're designing our dream house that we're going to have built once we get settled and after we have the money. which will be about 3-4 years after we first get married. i love him VERY much, and i could go on and on about him, but im sure you dont want to know that much. if you do, my email is ABUCK1025@aol.com. you can ask more there. ^_^