left behind

i just found out thru an email from my mom that her best friend's daughter, one of MY best friends,Ashley, is getting married in like a week. she just decided this like 2 weeks ago, cuz her twin sister, Amber, (one of my other best friends, i've known these two my whole life) is going to leave for Iraq for a year at the end of this month. i didnt even know that Ashley was engaged or anything. I feel like im losing them. I love them like sisters. im really upset right now because i wont be able to go, it's in indiana, like 10 or so hours away. i couldnt go to my sister's wedding in texas, where her hubby was stationed in the air force for training, cuz she had it the morning after my senior prom, and i had told her two or so months before hand NOT to have it that weekend, cuz i couldnt travel the 13 hours to get there right after prom, and i had prom planned WAY before she had this planned. it was a courthouse type thing, but still. she said that she had to do it then so that she's be put of her husbands shipping orders for DC. but i know she could've done it the weekend before or something. or she could've waited 6 months, which, after the crap going on now with her and her husband, i really think that she should've waited.. well, im just really hurt that Ashley (my friend, not my sister (stepsister, really), also named Ashley) didnt call me or anything to tell me, or even wait or anything. i feel like im being left behind in the dust. Ashley B. (the friend) is three months younger than me, and just turned 19. My stepsister Ashley W. is three months older than me. I just feel left behind. im engaged, but i REALLY REALLY want to go ahead and get married, i just know that money wise, and such we cant right now. i tried calling my fiance earlier to talk to him about it, but he's been out of time on his prepaid phone since sunday night. i talked to him online last night, but i needed to talk to him today. and it was too late to call his house at the time since he has younger siblings and it's a school night. i really need to talk to him about it. my mom would just be like "you better not get married til after college, or we're not paying for anything else" this, meaning college stuff and things like that. i dont have the money to take care of it right now. i'm here on a scholarship, but my mom and stepdad pay for the stuff that my scholarship doesnt cover.
I just feel really left behind and all.. my mom really likes my fiance,and is great with him, my dad and most of his side,as well as my moms side, dont know that he and i are engaged. (my dad's not exactly tolerant of mixed race couples. my fiance is mexican)...i think my grand mothers are ok with him, but my grandfathers are both racist, too. but everyone in my family has met him, and they all seemed to like him.
i dunno, i just want to go ahead and get married, spend my life with him and all....personality wise and all, we all thought i'd be the one toget married before my sister, so that makes me feel even more like im being left behind.

i just needed to get this out, since anyone i would talk to about this on the phone is either asleep or i just dont have the number. i'll try calling him again tomorrow afternoon after he gets out of school. thanks for letting me speak my peace (or is it piece??)